As A Child Did You Judge Your Parents?

 My Window on The World, September 28, 2009

 

I ran across this quote recently and was sorta taken aback by what it said:  

"Children begin by loving their parents. After a time, they judge them. Rarely,

 if ever, do they forgive them."- Oscar Wilde
I tried to relate this quote to my parents and then to my two children.  I

cannot, ever, remember judging my parents, but after reading the quote and

thinking about it for a bit I suppose I did (without expounding on the

reasons).  I also think it would be fair to say that my children have judged

their parents.  Since we are divorced their judgment, in all probability, is

that we failed as husband & wife (a given) and, maybe, even as parents (I

hope they don't).   I must say that I do believe there is a lot of truth in

the quote and that when the child's forgiveness comes I suspect it would be

after their parents passing.  True forgiveness for the intentional

infliction of distress is hard to accomplish.  There is only one person in

my life that I have been unable to forgive.   It was business related and

the intention was deliberate and prolonged.  Somehow, I know that when I

arrive at the entrance to Heaven, Saint Peter's first question will be:

"Why did you not forgive XXXXX".   My only hope is that I will be judged by

the entirety of my life and not the inability to forgive one person for

their transgressions.




Age robs us of height.  I have a good friend who complains that when he goes for his yearly physical he always loses some height.  Myself, I have gone from 5'10.5" to 5'10".   I assume as we age our spine starts to collapse and as we approach 70 the effect is
pronounced.  I saw a fellow on the news the other night that is the oldest

man in the world at 113 (I think he lives in Montana).  He must have been a

giant of a man because he still looked fairly tall.  He was in a wheelchair

so it was fairly difficult to tell.  As things go, the oldest person in the

world is a woman age 114 and she lives in Okinawa, Japan.  Fred H. Hale was

the oldest living man in 2004.  He died in November of that year.  If I live

that long they will be able to bury me in a shoebox.  I dunno if we are

related, but I'm hoping we are!  The longest unambiguously documented

lifespan is that of Jeanne
 Calment of France (1875-1997), who died at the age of 122 years, 164 days.  Ithink it is a long held scientific belief that it is impossible to live past 122.
One of my grandparents owned a car during my lifetime.  I can remember catching the bus with Grandpa & Grandma McCoy and going to Grundy (5 miles away) the only town I knew as a 4 year-old boy.   I do not know how Grandpa & Grandma Hale traveled.  I never saw
them in a car.  None of my grandparents ever took a vacation, nor, am I
 aware that they traveled very far from their home.    None of them seemed, to me, to be unhappy.  What wonderful people they were.  They never complained about other people, nor, what they didn't have.  Grandma McCoy used to chastise me (age 5) for yelling at the pretty little girl that
walked by on the road below, on her way to the grocery store, and calling

her sweetheart.  "Tommy Joe", says she, " don't be calling to that ol'
 Hatfield girl!" (we were supposed to hate all Hatfields).  I guess the point I'm making is that my grandparents never traveled much, heck, my parents didn't travel all that much either.  Jerilyn and I have been home 3 months and we are itching to take off again.  How much better our life is than the
previous two generations in my life.  As I set here, staring at a picture of
 my mom & dad when they were 20, I find it impossible to be thankful enough for the many blessing in my life. 
Have you ever tried to sharpen a knife on a whetstone?   I have never had much luck sharpening knives.  As a matter of fact, I think they always come out duller than when I started.   Well, the other day, as I was listening to an audio book that takes place in the
1930's, this guy says to his son, "Jack, let me show you how to sharpen your

pocket knife. Here's how:  place your knife on the stone, angle it the

height of your thumb and then only go in one direction.  Do both sides 10

strokes each, checking the sharpness each time a cycle is completed".

Well, nothing to do, but me to go out into the garage, pull out my whetstone

and Git R Dun.  I took Jerilyn's handy/dandy kitchen knife (the one she uses

for everything) and after two complete cycles that knife would cut a sheet

of paper like it was a stick of hot butter.  I have only known one person

that could sharpen a knife like that.  Now, I know two, and one of them is

me!   

I hope you have enjoyed this missive and, wherever you are on this beautiful planet, that your life is as you want it to be. 

…………………………Tommy
     

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