Shifting shadows can mean a lot of things, but the way I take it shows a part of my life. I’m not perfect, no one is. Everyone struggles with something in their life. I struggle with anxiety, and I used to be depressed. Thankfully, my depression has improved considerably this summer.
To me, shifting shadows are the bad thoughts and events that have occurred in my life. It was as if they always hunted me down. I tried to hide, but they always found me. I never wanted to give up, but I felt like I was going to. I had a therapist and when I talked to her, they would hide, but not for long. When I got home; they came after me again. Like a predator hunting its prey, and I was the prey. My thoughts would tear me down and take me deep inside my mind, the one place I didn’t want to be. No one wants to be there.
I tried to escape many times, but those awful thoughts always came back. It was an endless loop. If some didn’t bother me anymore, others would come. It was a constant battle of the mind.
Eventually, it started going away. After I got saved at church, my depression started gradually declining. Eventually I started paying more attention in church, and this past summer everything was going great for me. I gained the will to quit basketball, which lifted an immense weight off of my shoulders. I started hanging out with an old friend again and we both got saved in our church. We are inseparable now. I pray that I never lose her friendship. My sophomore year only started a few weeks ago, but I’m having a fantastic school time so far.
I am making more friends, and my classes aren’t that bad. I am happy in my life right now and I never want it to end. I thank God for His blessings and I thank Him for this beautiful life that I love. Even though I have struggled so much, He has always been here, right beside me through everything. Look at me now. This feels like one of the best years of my life, even when there is some crazy pandemic happening.
I feel like nothing can take this year away from me. I have had so many people help me through this, too. My family and friends have helped more than they could ever understand.
I want to give a small nod to my friend, Hannah. I don’t want to get all mushy here, but she really helped when she started hanging out with me more. She has made a big impact on my life, and I doubt she realizes it. Thank you so much, Hannah.
That is my story of how, no matter what attacks you, God can always help. You just have to go to Him. Do not pull away. He will always be there for you. He always has for me, by lifting those shifting shadows I struggled with.