Holidays Feel Different… by JoAnn

For the last couple of weeks, I have struggled with the sometimes negative effects of the holiday season. I’m sure many of you may know what I’m talking about. I have heard them called the “Holiday Blues .”And that is exactly what this feels like.

I have been overwhelmed with memories of years past. Mainly those of being a child and in the loving presence of my mother and dad. They are all happy memories that I cherish. I experienced wonderful holidays as a kid. I couldn’t have asked for any better. But now, I long to have the same feelings of love and peace that I felt back then. In fact, I grieve to feel those again.

During a festive time of year, it is difficult for anyone not to miss or think about those who are no longer here on earth with us. It’s natural to miss them. But sometimes, the missing turns to full-on grief. That is what I am feeling right now. It’s been a few years since I have grieved for my parents as I am now. They have been gone for many years, but for all of you who understand what I’m talking about, you also know that when the grief hits, it doesn’t feel like it’s been years. It feels fresh, renewed like it only happened recently.

As I continue struggling with all this, I am trying very hard not to let it steal the season’s spirit. The reason that we have so very much to be thankful for and to celebrate. I have an abundance of blessings all year long, and it’s only fitting to celebrate them during the holidays. But it can be a true challenge when the soul is lost in sorrow. I know that instead of letting a gloomy winter’s day feed this sorrow, I need to feed my soul with the positives in my life. But it can be a constant mental battle some days.

If any of you are reading this struggle with what I am desperately trying to convey in my writing, my prayers go out to you. I know we are not alone. I know there are many, many others with the same struggles this time of year. My hope is that we all are given many reasons to celebrate this year and can keep our hearts from dwelling and getting lost in the grief of so many things.

I hope to continue to listen to that little voice inside my head that reminds me that this, too, shall pass. Fight it and refuse to give in to it. Count my blessings daily and focus on only the positives in my life. And to remember there are others out there doing the same thing. It helps to know you are not alone when times are tough. May all of our souls be joined and hope be felt in that energy.