Guilty as Charged… by Jane Strebel

Grief and guilt are two little words that hold the misery of the world in their five short letters.  Grief, with its stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, easily infiltrates its way into the lives of even the most wealthy, the most mighty, even the most holy.  No one, it seems, is immune to the repercussions of grief.

Likewise, it seems that nearly all people, except perhaps the most narcissistic of individuals, experience some type of guilt at certain times in their lives.  When we feel guilty we assume we have done something wrong, we take responsibility for that assumption, and then our self-esteem is lowered.  Guilt is like a snake making its way into a henhouse.  It’s quiet and it’s pernicious.

Living in a continuing care community, we are all often aware of the grief that our friends experience.  But do we always know when our neighbors encounter strong guilt as well?  Having recently moved my spouse into a higher level of care, I have become acquainted with that guilt.  I suppose it will weaken with time but, for the moment at least, I shall have to declare myself “guilty as charged”.